My eyes are currently practically swollen. Thanks to the damn eyebags. its getting worse and worse. Pfffft. Now I really do look like a panda-.- With very dark and big black rings under my eye. Its like very seldom for my eye to get easily swollen though. But guess what, it did.

I've been thinking.
Dreaming.
Reflecting.
Am I really that bad? To only care about myself and not others? I've disappointed so many souls and when they talk to me, they don't even want to see eye to eye with me. And for that to happened so obviously, it set me to think, very very far.........

It really sucks to know that you had disappointed a person or hurt him/her. The feeling will ust gush to you and bring you straight down to hell. No matter how high you were. And that is a feeling that I hate the most. But the worst feeling is when you get disappointed and hurt by a party. Usually, it will just make my heart drop and sink very deeply. & when this happens, I'll be speechless and cam't really speak as though my heart is in my throat. It really sucks to get his kind of feeling. And what more, you know how the other party feels.

I've really been reflecting alot. Though I may not seem to care what you guys are lecturing me about, I do take those points to consideration. I may not regret thath instantly or made you think that I've really repented. Instead, I'd rather just act nomally as if nothing happened. Cos that will make you pissed and it makes me happy as you are the one lecturing me. I will not do so unless, I'm really feeling extremely guilty. And when I reflect about myself, am I that self-centred, sensitive, daft, hopeless, bossy, arrogant, stubborn, dominant, ignorant, unimportant, invisible etc ?
Is it really to a certain extent whereby its really over to the bad kinda way? What do you people even take me for? A groveller? Forget it man. Well, I may be do have those qualities and thats what makes me. Thats my character. And when those comments were given to me, i don't mind feeling the hurt. I mean its definitely hurting but its normal. I just can't take the part whereby it will really leave a huge impact on me.

It will really make me think; causing sleepless nights
; very big panda eyes;; swollen
It will even leave a nightmare/dream; this sucks cos I hate it.
I've tried not to think too far or too much, but I just can't help it. It'll just go on and on. Never ending. I just hate it whereby I will just continue thinking of it. It just sucks. I really wish I don't have to think about it anymore. Well, I guess I'm more sensitive than ever huh..

Pfffft, I just hate hurting or getting hurt. The disappointment part is really pretty unforgiven. I just hate both. ZZZ. I guess even after this post, it will make me think even more. Oh what the heck~ at most I'll just delete it afterwards since it is my blog.

Feeling really sucky now. And I've come to a point whereby I really can't stand myself. Aargh!
I reall don't know what I should do. I guess, I'll just have to relax and not think about it? Really doubt that man...
Whatever it is, I just realise what type of a girlfriend I am. & I really hate myself for that. I don't know how to explain it but I really hate myself for this.
I just wanna get it done and over with. Its next week and I'm feeling so sucky.

wahlao..
tht blardy freak guy lah ..
lie lie lie .
LIAR LAH !
ass lah you .
i shall not mention names .

did not know you had the heart to lie to me .,
denial is all you knw wht t do .
wht a pain .,
youre the pain lah dey ...
asshole .
;;i shall ignore you at times whn you irritate me .
sometimes i dont even knw why i still bother t talk to you .
thus ,i've decided not to talk to you unless you talk to me
basically just ignoring you .

dont try to get attention from me cos you'll nvr get it .
dont try to control me cos i nvr controlled you .
dont try to give me tht kinda of face whn i did nth wrong
if you like her just say so lah .
no need to break another person's heart and thn act to be sad and later youre okay .
im not gna give you the concern look like i always do .
nor will i care .

im just vernting my frustations out on some ppl .
why take advantage of me whn i did nth ?
everytime also like tht
so many victims .
wht a pain la you .
who else will be your victims ?

nivermind .
i shall bear with you guys .
i shall wait how long more will you step on my head .
i guess ,,
thts all bah /.
takakires everyone !